Well, I guess we've gotta keep it

Tapes of Richard Nixon discussing his views on abortion were released today. Here's one of his opinions:

“There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white,” he told an aide, before adding, “Or a rape.”

Only 36 years ago, an American president said this... amazing. Since I'm only "a brown", not "a black," I guess we'll have to keep my unborn child (which, by the way will - hopefully - be born late Dec or early Jan... I'm glad my tough med school rotations will be out of the way by then).

Death comes easy

I've seen patients whom I knew were going to die and I've seen patients who died after I was in contact with them, but recently, I saw, for the first time, a patient die in front of me. I'm not much of an emotional person, but I thought that it would affect me more. Instead, it felt like nothing. I suppose it could have been the fact that I never got to know the patient (she had been in cardiac arrest for a while before I saw her) or that it was pretty busy in the room with people performing multiple procedures and shouting various orders or that no one else seemed especially moved. Maybe I was too concerned with not messing up the small part I was given to save this person's life. Either way, I suppose a certain amount of detachment is necessary to efficiently (and rationally) treat the patient. I just didn't think that I would reach that state of detachment without even trying.

I feel so dirty

Just came back from the most Jesus-filled wedding I've ever been to. It had everything, random quotations from the bible every few minutes, passing around of the collection plate, singing with eyes closed and hands in the air and even a poster for the "Prayer Force," that had a picture of an African refugee camp with fighter jets dropping bombs onto them (I am NOT kidding). I feel pretty dirty after this experience, so to cleanse myself, I just joined Americans United for the Separation of Church and State (my donation is dedicated to the Bride and Groom).

Returning back to med school (sort of)

Although I don't officially return to med school until July, I unofficially started med school this week. I couldn't fit a 2-week radiology rotation in my schedule during 3rd year, so I decided to do it now (since I have 6 weeks off and doing nothing). It's definitely a laid back med school rotation (yesterday, we were in at 9 - which is nearly lunch time for typical med school rotations and were done at 3) and there is no patient contact. However, it does give me a chance to assess how well I remember my facts from nearly 6 years ago. I am currently on the rotation with students who are ending their 3rd year, so they've nearly had a year of school, and as a result have experienced a lot and know a lot. But, besides the obscure disease that no one actually sees (except on the boards), so far, I've been able to hold my own (although, I guess I should wait until I see how I do on the exam before acting so cocky). Previous MD/PhDers have told me that it all comes back to you and I never believed them... but it does seem to come back pretty quickly (even anatomy). So, at the minimum this mini-rotation has helped me feel less anxious about the hard-core rotations that will come up soon (medicine and surgery are my first two).

But beyond that, it's made me realize that radiology is awesome! Since my research was somewhat radiology-related (I did use MRI's), it was a field I was always looking into. The fact that is has great hours, great flexibility, and (yeah, it's important) great salary, was really pushing me towards it. But without seeing much of it at work, I didn't really have a great reason to pursue it (other than research). Well, even though I've only had a few days of it, I'm much more impressed by the field. It really is a field that is very scientific. More than any other field, I think that the translation from basic research to clinical practice is the fastest in radiology. They already use techniques that are considered cutting edge (even for research purposes). Techniques that were discovered only a few years ago. I really like the fact that it has such a close relationship with the research side of things and the flexibility will make combining a life of research and clinical work very easy.

It's really early and I may change my mind, but so far, it looks like I'm going to continue telling people I want to go into radiology.

There go my innocent days as a Mr.

So five (really) smart people decided that my work was good enough for a PhD... personally, I think I just overwhelmed them with the number of pages they had to read. I kind of screwed up a bit on my presentation (but, oh well, most people there had already heard me talk before and knew what I was doing). The closed door session went surprisingly easy. I did get some tough (or unexpected) questions (like "can you ever prove causation?"), but they tended to be questions that had no correct answer. I'm glad it's all over and thanks to those who attended it (like MadDR2, who is weeks away from his own defense... you'll do great, even if you mess up on your presentation like me, you'll get your PhD).

I get about 10 days off before I start med school (I am doing a 2-week Radiology rotation before med school actually starts since I couldn't fit it in my schedule later).

Anyway, I leave you with this (which, with my newly certified expertise, I can assure you is accurate)

Shouldn't medical professionals know better?

I was reading a blog in Medscape (a branch of webmd that focuses on medical education; unfortunately requires registration) in which a med student talks about homophobic comments made by her attendings (and how in medical settings, homophobic comments are more tolerated than racist comments). Unfortunately, racism, sexism and homophobia are as prevalent in the clinics as they are in the real world (after all, doctors do come from the real world), but I found it pretty surprising that in the poll attached to it, 84% of respondents have experienced a racist or homophobic comment in a medical setting (and even more upsetting was the fact that a third of those aren't bothered by it). Granted, this is an online poll with small numbers (and anecdotally, I've heard similar experiences from many other med students), but the fact that it even exists is not right. I know that there are good and bad people out there and there's nothing keeping a bigoted asshole from becoming a doctor, but it saddens me to think that people in a field that is devoted to caring about others can see nothing wrong with hating someone just for who they are.

It's done!!

Five copies of the dissertation > 1 beer

I just turned in my dissertation to my committee. Six months worth of writing and 340 pages certainly took its toll. Strangely, I still feel like I haven't completed my research. Oh well... now I have two weeks to sit on my ass and make a semi-decent presentation.

One thing I've realized in the last few days is that after 4+ years of research, I'm finally comfortable where I am. I know how things work in my lab. I like the research, and I've got about a million other experiments that I could do. I feel bad that I'm leaving this comfortable nest and moving to the strange, new world of med school. Oh well, if I've learned anything in life, it is that as soon as you get comfortable with something, you move on to something new and scary.